A Good Day for Democracy

Yesterday was the last day of Student Senate elections here at Ohio University, aka the happiest day of the year. For the past month the bros and sorostitutes forming the rank-and-file of RSVP have faced off against the other bros and other sorostitutes, plus the occasional hipster, of FACE in virtually every public space on campus. Yes those party names are acronyms; all you need to know about them is that what they stand for is absolutely fucking irrelevant like the parties themselves and Student Senate as a whole. It's amazing to see the things people go through for something that might look good on a resume. And honestly, I would cry if I had to see someone who thought they could 'make a difference at Ohio University by serving on Student Senate,' or, the Ohio University Supreme People's Assembly.

Campaign methods are predictable. "Vote FACE!" scrawled on a classroom chalkboard, staring you in the eye when the mind wanders from lecture. "Vote RSVP" (the V being a checkmark, how clever) posted in the bathrooms for you to stare at because looking at the dick of the guy next to you is socially frowned upon. Painting the graffiti wall, incessant facebook events and banners and profile pictures, taping a fucking note to my front goddamn door, using email lists from year-old classes to 'spread the word', and the quartersheets. Oh my Christ almighty, the fucking quartersheets. Each party gets a band of sunny white people to stand by every moderately busy intersection or doorway on campus all day, every day, shoving teal (FACE) or neon green (RSVP) quartersheets in the faces of people just trying to get to class. As if the student populace gives a shit about the brown-nosing desires of some thick-necked, thicker-skulled fratboy and his pretty but personality-less friends.

Apparently this year FACE and RSVP drew some controversy. Not for being annoying shits--that happens every year--but for supposed "negative campaigning". Rumor has it each party took advantage of the other's members being caught drunk as shit at Palmerfest (the year's largest gathering of douchebags and Natural Light) and promptly put the pictures on facebook. The negative campaigning even 'inspired' an associate of mine to launch an independent write-in candidacy for Student Senate president (that two candidates of FACE, then RSVP promptly endorsed to be different, dare I say mavericks) that, as it turns out, failed. RSVP--the one with the broiest bros--won, in a near-landslide. Fraternities exist for networking, and nothing else.

As I said earlier, yesterday was the last day of the election season. My first two morning classes are held in the same room, and during the time between them, I'm the only one in the room. Today I took advantage of this time to tear down the Vote RSVP posters, rip them up and put them in the trash, and erase their chalkboard messages with a pocket New Testament no less. A good day for democracy.