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A Satisfied Mind
I finally got a computer!
Don't let that make you expect more frequent updates. We know who we're talking about here.
I've got a 20 page research paper to write by the second week of November, I work 21 hours/5 (formerly 6) days a week at the worst goddamn place in the world, because of missing the mark by .045 grade points I'm down $6000 pending a psychiatric/psychological and medical appeal, among other things. So I'm a fairly busy motherfucker.
I will tell y'all this: thank god for the Prozac. At some point over the summer I got tired of being depressed all the god damn time and essentially demanded to see a psychiatrist. Talking about my problems was like seeing a massage therapist for chronic back pain. Sometimes you just need pills, and that 20 mg once a day has been doing wonders.
Little changed about my life, if anything it got worse. But about a week after I started taking them I just didn't give a fuck. Africans fuck up 3,600 cookies and I alone have to put everything back together? Meh, okay. Exam in two hours I totally forgot about? Shit, I better get on that. I'm so much more level-headed, and it's made my life so much more manageable. Sure it takes at least twice as long to cum which can be problematic with having a boyfriend and all but he seems like he too doesn't give a fuck. It works out quite well.
I do still get angry pretty frequently but rather than devolve into a festering cauldron of rage I channel my hatenergy into productivity. When I want to attack Central Foods with a battery of cruise missiles, instead of festering like a cauldron of rage, I pay off bills I've been sitting on and relish in the dopamine rush of being responsible (and not having to worry about my electricity getting shut off).
I'm even being (marginally) more fiscally responsible. I know smoking is bad m'kay but the fact of the matter is I do and will for the immediate future. Instead of shelling out $6.20 per pack of delicious, delicious Marlboro Blend No. 27's three times a week I bought a whole carton of machine-rolled cigarettes for $25 at Cheap Tobacco, the chain store that can only exist in Appalachia. I wasn't even trying to be careful with my money and I had about $30 left over when I got my next paycheck. Cigarettes are fucking expensive. But what's even more expensive is being 21, holy shit. It's pretty cool being able to just buy alcohol whenever I want (except Sundays, that's Jesus' day). On my 21st I spent $50 on whiskey and spiced rum, and gave a bartender a $5 tip for a free birthday drink. It's important to build a reputation.
Between channeling my anger instead of resisting it, building a reputation with bartenders, smoking substandard cigarettes because they cost almost a third of the price, and taking forever to cum I can't tell if it's the Prozac doing all this to me or if I'm finally, actually becoming an old man. My back has been hurting a lot lately.
9 Manifestos:
What is too long to cum?
40 minutes, minimum.
It's pretty fucking expensive being 22, too. I'm gonna need those 3600 cookies.
40 minutes! you're no two pump chump!
Your gelfling essence has been almost entirely drained.
Smokes here are like $12 a package and around $100 a carton, but there's freebee health care to look after your lung cancer. You should still give'em up though. No one appreciates your shit-breath.
I just saw the bodies exhibit in Lexington. It's enough to make a person compleatly give up sex. (as if I could give up something I don't ever peruse.)
You are altogether too young for all this kid. I suggest a semester off and a real job, (if you can find one), without the booze and the other accoutrements of your current life, just for perspective. Living without sex gives one a different viewpoint too, but I won't be that bold.
As an alternative, you might delve into academia and devote yourself to finishing school and becoming embedded in the capitalistic world, (so you can pay off your loans later), but no matter what, do something different.
And consider this. Forty minutes beats forty seconds all to hell. (I started to say "hands down").
Nashe: Please, come take them. Less work for me.
BP: Sadly for my prospects he wants to buy a dildo and gauge himself first, the coward.
Thimscool: My what?
Omar: Word up. It's not a habit I particularly enjoy having. If nothing else my formerly off-putting morning breath now borders intolerable. I wonder if I'll have an easier time kicking it being on AD's now? Maybe I'll give it a shot during a low-stress time in my life (after this quarter).
Robert: OU almost bought the meat slicer they used to cut up the bodies for that exhibit on the cheap to cut deli meats. For some reason they decided against it.
ER: Time off is not an option. I'll lose almost all of my scholarships, not be able to afford returning ($0 in private student loans, I aim to keep it that way), and worst of all my mother will beat my ass.
In the meantime I get by better than a fair chunk of my peers. One of the student managers at my job quit for this quarter because he was too busy with class, and mentioned contemplating suicide because of the stress. You should have seen the look on our faces.
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